Season of Change

This summer... wow.
I can't believe this is going to be the last summer I'm going to spend as a high schooler. Maybe it's because of this reason, but I cannot forget all that I've experienced and learned during my break. This year, it only got better and better every day. An action-packed summer... coming home at one or two all the time, lying on my bed thinking about how much fun I had. This summer was full of inspiration and change... I can't say that I'm the same person anymore, despite the fact that I may look and act the same on the outside.

I've realized the importance of building relationships and knowing those that are going to stay with me the rest of my life. I learned to accept myself as I am and be comfortable with it. And from all the years stressing about my future, I finally feel like I know what to do and where I want to be at.

I feel confident and not burdened.

The way I socialize with people has also changed. I have met so many people... from the same county to the other side of the nation.. and have gained perspectives, same and different. I feel like I don't have to work alone anymore. I'm swearing more often... trying not to though. I've decided what to continue and what not to. I've seen so much more than just my home city... outside, the places I've never knew existed yet were only a couple hours away. I've become more open-minded and understanding. I've experienced different forms of love (as corny as it sounds), and I want to share it.

In short, summer this year has turned me into a more mature and open person. I can't say that I've changed for the better, but I'm not despising this change I've experienced. I like this new me, and because of that I'm looking forward for the years to come.

I'm truly going to miss summer.

new!

good day today...

got my daily portion done for summer homework, practiced piano enough :) (finally), then pool with group, then got my bike <3.. then got a bigger desk AHH I'm in love with my bike and desk :)


i need to run more!

bittersweet

scared..
that they won't cooperate with me
that it'll be harder than I expected
that my purpose and ambition will fade away
that i'll feel hopeless
that my priorities will be shuffled
that i won't have time to spend with my close ones
that i'll have to adjust to a new lifestyle the last year
that they'll have the wrong conception
that i'll be too caught up

certain..
that I'll encounter an unforgettable experience
that I can prove stereotypes and prejudices wrong
that I have potential
that I have passion
that I can grow as a leader
that I can work well with everyone
... that i'm not just a stupid asian
that I'll be with them side by side and not in front of them


I can do this

finally!

so chill today...
watched LEAP YEAR with heffy today after school.. it was an okay movie. the guy was pretty hot though asopighasdioghasdiogh we were like squealing -_- anyways i actually got to take a walk with my mom and dad.. together today. it was cute heh :) but we talked about SO MANY THINGS probably the most out of this whole year. but i've just realized that i've been so busy i never got to share my life with them and because of that they weren't able to understand me much.. whenever they'd ask me i would always have to explain because i've never told them anything since I was so busy, and explaining would be a hassle.

Just realized that despite the fact they're the stereotypical asian parents, they really want me to follow my aspirations and desires. I really love them :)
We walked for like a little over an hour, but seriously I've never opened up to them so much.. I'm glad they're able to walk my path with me now.

Anywayys i'm loving the last days of school.. seriously i can just chill the whole day without having to worry about anything.. and i am definitely excited for summer! I have so many things planned.. gonna be a hassle but I'll have ALOT more freedom than school. hopefully it won't be a breeze :)

p.s. again mentioning... very very thankful
VERY thankful for the ones that are there for me.


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kind of weird how this happened.. one time i was saying maybe God has other plans but now it's the other way around

creepy

heffy and i were coming back from wal-mart not too long ago and on the way we see two police cars to our right. there's a man lying face down on the ground unconscious.. out of the car... did he get shot or is he just drunk o_o
kind of just sat there shocked by the scene...

then i come home and my brother tells me someone gave me a book. i go inside my room and there's a letter that says "Dear Esther, Please enjoy and be blessed with this book. Love," and then a purple streak. there's a pooh keychain attached to the paper. the book is called the signs and involvements of God...

I ask him how he got it and he said that someone knocked on the door while I was out and when he opened it noone was there except for the letter and the book on the ground..

i'm pretty creeped out.

FUN

LONG entry...

o52910: PROM

So proud of JCC :) Througout this year we've been spending so much time and now that it finally came it was kinda sad.. but prom was very successful!

Anyways I had to go to church service SUPER early in the morning cause my mom was iffy about me missing church -__- seriously there were like 10 adults there so boring.. but since the youth pastor was speaking it was bearable. then after we went straight home and then riya and hannah came over. I swear.. I love extensions <3

and oh i REALLY REALLY liked my makeup & hair.. MAJOR PROPS TO RIYA.. seriously what can I do without this girll

anywaays went to imagix and took pictures.. the usual. but THE BOAT. haha endless dreams! I remember we were all bummed out we couldn't get eternity? I think that was what it was called... but this boat was super nice too I think we underappreciated it a little :) anyways setting up 2 hours before prom was kind of a hassle cause tables got mixed up but at the end everything got set up in time.

The security was really uptight! when it was about to start all non jcc members had to leave the boat and i left too cause michael was out but i was jcc and i couldn't even go in -_- had to wait in the line for like 45 mins lool. but maan the boat was amazinn :o) except it moved ALOT faster than I expected so i actually felt it rocking back and forth.. kind of made me sick but who cares? its on a boat..

went to dennys after and i said i wouldn't eat but i did -_- seriously i've been eating so muchh but haha food is too good!

...

i think this is one of the most memorable dances i went to :)

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o53o1o: FAMILY VACATION

i came back home around like 130 and got all settled for bed around 2. we were going to leave at 5 so i only had like 3 hours to sleep...well when i woke up it was around 630 and we were just about to leave. oh my gosh i rushed like no other lol. anywayys it took like 3 hours to go to solvang.. me and my brother just knocked out. my dad bought a whole bunch of food.. I didn't really get why cause we were gonna eat there anyways but . never too bad to have food :)

it was SUPER hot.. i checked the weather after prom and it was gonna be like 90 degrees there.. I don't know why I wore long pants lol but I was prepared :) brought like 2 sets of clothes lol. well there wasn't really much to do there except sightsee and eat so we went to santa barbara which was pretty close from there and we went to go see the mission. except we were super lucky cause they happened to have a children's festival or something so it made our experience more fun :) there were like chalk art and like people singing and food and whatnot and a WHOLE bunch of people. i wouldn't mind going there again..

then for dinner we went to this chinese vegetarian restaurant. we were having the hardest time finding the place because we went there WAY before but when we got there it wasn't at the same place.. i think it was a chain. so we were debating if we should go or not and we ended up going.. lol. i think we ordered the wrong food -_- we were quite disappointed but oh well :)

i'm really thankful that we all got to go on this trip.. i think it really helped us to bond.. i mean we always had our family moments and stuff but most of the time we would always be doing our own things.. this time we actually moved together, ate together, talked with each other.. all things that a close family would do hehe. i love my KOH family<3

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o53110: DATE WITH MOMMA

went out with her at like 2pm and went to anaheim forever 21 to go shopping.. right when i got in they asked me if i wanted to enter in this raffle for a 100 dollar gift card so i was like O_O i think i had my hopes too high.. i really really really wanted to win hahah cause i already planned on buying my mom clothes but if i had that then i could buy her more. we freaking waited 2 hours for it and we didn't even get it -_- dammit i should have like kept on writing my name lol. anyyways went to like a whole bunch of other stores after.. it was really good exercise baahhah. we're so determined >:) anyyways my mom told me she's going to chicago in june for a business trip and SHE DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME... she told me from now on she's going on a business trip every month and for july she might go back to missouri again and asked me if i wanted to tag along with her so i was like most def! if i do get to go i'd be kinda excited :)

i bought some clothes for her and for myself so i'm a happy shopper hahah

i think this is like one of the best weekends i've ever had yaaay :o)

long day

R.I.P. uncle ,

May 17th 2010

♥

woke up at 5am to hear my uncle passed away. i guess the time finally came. still in shock.. but what happens happens... went to hospital and saw his body for the last time. i don't know. he was so cold and white.. can't really get that image out of my head. been popping up randomly this whole day but I guess throughout the week my family, his family, and I will cope with it and just wish him the best.

on a brighter note, I got my shoes for prom today! went to cerritos mall with ashley and I was so scared I wouldn't be able to find shoes but we actually found them like less than an hour. All I need now are flowers and dress. Found the dress at ebay LOL and trying to contact the seller to send it early but she's being pretty shady -_- but i still trust her. she better... omg

i love having no hw :) finally have time for myself I can just relaxx this is how I always wanted weekdays to be.. time to shop around nap laugh have fun whatever

tomorrow is officially show week! another tiring week... but it'll get my mind off the whole situation. ahhh can't wait till prom! very excited hehe

p.s.

very thankful for the ones who've always been there for me