dear _________,

i'm sorry to startle you, to disturb you..
it was hard for me to say.
the whole time i had it in my mind
yet when it was time all i could do was stutter...
i shouldn't have said it that way.
i'm really really sorry to surprise you with such a thing
i knew you would understand, and i should have said it alot simpler.
i hope this doesn't affect you at all because it will continue on
i'm glad it will...



i cannot stop tears from coming out

junior year starters

so my schedule:

1. apush
2. anatomy
3. show
4. precalc
5. bio
6. aplit

not bad! (:
i actually like my schedule except for anatomy. first class on tuesdays thursdays ): but besides that i really like it. hopefully junior year won't be as bad as i think...

plus
i went shopping today! for the first time in summer i think... and i actually bought a whole outfit-worth of clothes. i am truly satisfied.

now all i can hope for a perfect ending to my summer is a fun weekend. and that won't be impossible. play play playy


--update--
my brother is eating a FULL COURSE meal right now.. so late at night but it's so tempting! ugh. damn my diet. i guess it will be worth it later on right? i need some self-control haha

weaknesses

before i start, i've been noticing my frequent updates in my blog. well i better write as much as i can before i'm too busy to do this again.

(:

so today was another 4 hours of volunteer at long beach hospital.
actually today was really fun, i worked with michelle today at her department.
...basically we played and talked with kids that just woke up from anasthesia from surgery (idknow if thats how you spell it); some cases were pretty stupid but others, wow i'm just so fortunate that i'm healthy. I knew that health was something i should treasure but that thought was pretty dormant until now.

Anyways,
the lady there gave us a tour around the department... basically surgery rooms. It was, obviously, my first time in there...
for some reason it was alot less scarier i thought. Surgery and blood is one thing that I DEFINITELY cannot stand, but when i was there it didn't seem too bad. until i saw blood on the operation bed.

i felt my consciousness level going down.. i wasn't feeling the same after that. Writing an essay took me forever :/ my brain is still throbbing..

and i just came to realize, if i plan to work in the medical field how am i supposed to overcome this? A needle that goes through my arm scares me. Something in my body scares me. The talk of blood scares me. What else am i scared of...

in spite of all this, I'm glad that i didn't have to file papers and look at explicit pictures (:

now hopefully i can be conscious enough to finish up some summer hw..

finally!

i survived wednesday.

wednesday =
vocab cumulative tests
sat practice test
piano lesson.

i have finished everything. what a relief...
all i have to worry about now is summer homework.

focus focus focus!

2 more weeks

of summer.

i
am
going
to
die.


anyways,
new haircut! (:
kind of short, but i like it since i was aiming for a new style anyways.
i wished she cut my bangs a little differently though.
i will dye my hair soon too

a new look for a new school year? guess so

spontaneous schedules

so supposedly i was going to lock myself up in my room to catch up on some homework, updates, whatnot... and then i found out this week is actually REALLY busy because of plans i totally forgot about. Well not Joanna's party, that was fun (: and then the JCC sleepover, then the softball tournament.

I think i'm going to end up finishing summer hw on the last day of break like last year. omgaaah.
I can't say i hate it though, break is still fun despite all the academic stuff..

Anyways
I have been continuously debating (for the longest time) about whether to cut my hair short or not.. and what color to dye it. Spotting a new look? I guess so... hopefully it'll turn out better than I expect (:

My room needs some cleaning. and a new look too...

yes!

I can start blogging again since the site works now.. kind of missed this place (:

august is already here, that means 3/4 more weeks of break. i need to start focusing! been trying to this whole summer, but i don't think my brain will ever be the same as before in 7th grade ):

anyways yesterday i had a piano competition,
and guess who won first place!?!?!?!??!
i honestly wasn't going to continue piano if I didn't place, and at first i thought i would end up fourth when my number was posted up but i just never knew. some motivation.

talking about motivation, can't wait to go up to PUC... everyday is an obstacle, but just 2 more days!! i need to get away from my house and sats and volunteer.

just realized i haven't seen some school people for the LONGEST time... i miss them ):