weaknesses

before i start, i've been noticing my frequent updates in my blog. well i better write as much as i can before i'm too busy to do this again.

(:

so today was another 4 hours of volunteer at long beach hospital.
actually today was really fun, i worked with michelle today at her department.
...basically we played and talked with kids that just woke up from anasthesia from surgery (idknow if thats how you spell it); some cases were pretty stupid but others, wow i'm just so fortunate that i'm healthy. I knew that health was something i should treasure but that thought was pretty dormant until now.

Anyways,
the lady there gave us a tour around the department... basically surgery rooms. It was, obviously, my first time in there...
for some reason it was alot less scarier i thought. Surgery and blood is one thing that I DEFINITELY cannot stand, but when i was there it didn't seem too bad. until i saw blood on the operation bed.

i felt my consciousness level going down.. i wasn't feeling the same after that. Writing an essay took me forever :/ my brain is still throbbing..

and i just came to realize, if i plan to work in the medical field how am i supposed to overcome this? A needle that goes through my arm scares me. Something in my body scares me. The talk of blood scares me. What else am i scared of...

in spite of all this, I'm glad that i didn't have to file papers and look at explicit pictures (:

now hopefully i can be conscious enough to finish up some summer hw..