weaknesses

before i start, i've been noticing my frequent updates in my blog. well i better write as much as i can before i'm too busy to do this again.

(:

so today was another 4 hours of volunteer at long beach hospital.
actually today was really fun, i worked with michelle today at her department.
...basically we played and talked with kids that just woke up from anasthesia from surgery (idknow if thats how you spell it); some cases were pretty stupid but others, wow i'm just so fortunate that i'm healthy. I knew that health was something i should treasure but that thought was pretty dormant until now.

Anyways,
the lady there gave us a tour around the department... basically surgery rooms. It was, obviously, my first time in there...
for some reason it was alot less scarier i thought. Surgery and blood is one thing that I DEFINITELY cannot stand, but when i was there it didn't seem too bad. until i saw blood on the operation bed.

i felt my consciousness level going down.. i wasn't feeling the same after that. Writing an essay took me forever :/ my brain is still throbbing..

and i just came to realize, if i plan to work in the medical field how am i supposed to overcome this? A needle that goes through my arm scares me. Something in my body scares me. The talk of blood scares me. What else am i scared of...

in spite of all this, I'm glad that i didn't have to file papers and look at explicit pictures (:

now hopefully i can be conscious enough to finish up some summer hw..

finally!

i survived wednesday.

wednesday =
vocab cumulative tests
sat practice test
piano lesson.

i have finished everything. what a relief...
all i have to worry about now is summer homework.

focus focus focus!

2 more weeks

of summer.

i
am
going
to
die.


anyways,
new haircut! (:
kind of short, but i like it since i was aiming for a new style anyways.
i wished she cut my bangs a little differently though.
i will dye my hair soon too

a new look for a new school year? guess so

spontaneous schedules

so supposedly i was going to lock myself up in my room to catch up on some homework, updates, whatnot... and then i found out this week is actually REALLY busy because of plans i totally forgot about. Well not Joanna's party, that was fun (: and then the JCC sleepover, then the softball tournament.

I think i'm going to end up finishing summer hw on the last day of break like last year. omgaaah.
I can't say i hate it though, break is still fun despite all the academic stuff..

Anyways
I have been continuously debating (for the longest time) about whether to cut my hair short or not.. and what color to dye it. Spotting a new look? I guess so... hopefully it'll turn out better than I expect (:

My room needs some cleaning. and a new look too...

yes!

I can start blogging again since the site works now.. kind of missed this place (:

august is already here, that means 3/4 more weeks of break. i need to start focusing! been trying to this whole summer, but i don't think my brain will ever be the same as before in 7th grade ):

anyways yesterday i had a piano competition,
and guess who won first place!?!?!?!??!
i honestly wasn't going to continue piano if I didn't place, and at first i thought i would end up fourth when my number was posted up but i just never knew. some motivation.

talking about motivation, can't wait to go up to PUC... everyday is an obstacle, but just 2 more days!! i need to get away from my house and sats and volunteer.

just realized i haven't seen some school people for the LONGEST time... i miss them ):

almost well

this site hasn't been working on my computer for a while, but i guess it does now

i'm glad that the sickness has gone! now that it is over i can continue enjoying summer (o:

mindless

today, i woke up in the morning with my mom crying on my shoulder.

sorry eunbee,
sorry that i can't support you, sorry that i'm making it so hard on you, that you can't do what you want to do. if it gets any harder after high school let's just move back to korea okay?

no matter how hard i tried to stay strong i couldn't help but share the same emotions as her, i started crying. i wanted to show her how thankful i was to have this love and support,
yet I still cried.

I also cried on saturday at the damian and katrina's moms funeral. i have never cried so much in a single weekend.
and now my throat hurts so much.

today was such a mindless day. especially since I stayed up the whole night for the SALT gym event. my sleeping schedule is totally reversed. I went to school mindless and came home the same way.





I need to wake up.